Easter bonnet…

Just something I wrote…

Perhaps you know her; perhaps you’ve passed her by.  If you see her again, please tell her I said hi. 
I wish I knew why she had that look, that sadness in her eye.  I hope it’s not because of me that she cannot seem to cry. 
Has anyone seen her?  She used to come around.  I’d like to get a message to her that I’m safe an sound.  Please tell her that I’m sorry, that I didn’t want to go.  Please tell her that I’m happy, and safe at home, you know?  Please tell her, if you get the chance, to put the burden down, to leave it at the foot of the cross, just leave it, lay it down!  I really hope she understands I want her to be whole.  She doesn’t have to be afraid, or sad, or always down.  She didn’t do this to me, there really was no choice.  I understand, I know–
 
I’m the one she calls her son, but only to herself. 

And on another day, I wrote…

I didn’t know you
or who you might become
But it had to happen
It had to be done
So I opened up my arms
and I let you go
I have always loved you
I pray that you know

You are a child of God
Raised in His kingdom
Nursed on His love
When you look into the Father’s eyes
I pray you see your mother’s love

I never forgot you
I even know your name
You left an indelible mark
a permanent stain
When I opened up my arms
and I let you go
I felt tremendous pain
pain you’ll never know

You are a child of God
Raised in His kingdom
Nursed on His love
When you look into the Father’s eyes
I pray you see your mother’s love

Happy Easter!! 

And this is my family

 Yep, that’s me an the family!  Were all pretty scary!

Say whaa?…huh?..er..sorry!

So I was talking with Joel (cecworship) last night, and have decided that what I really need to do is just keep writing, and reading.  I’m not moving right now, I have become a little stagnate.   I hate it.  Of all the things to become in the world, stagnate is just not on my short list, and it has to change.  I’m sure there is some great reason–some how there has to be one. 

I’ve been doing quite a bit of soul searching recently.  This isn’t fun.  It’s part of the season, and part of my spiritual maturing I’m sure, but that doesn’t mean I like it any better.  Who am I?  What makes me who I am?  Is it my past?  Is it my present?  Could it be my future?  How do I define myself?  How do I measure myself?  What is the standard?  If I get answers to all these questions will life be good?

All things in God’s time.  All good gifts are from above.  “My sins are washed away, my night is turned to day”  How do I apply all this into daily living, healing, grieving, moving, changing?   Am I supposed to? 

One of the big things that keeps me from moving from this spot is feeling like I fouled out of the game.  In basketball, each player gets 4 fouls…then on the 5th…they are done.  Out.  No more play time.  Is that me?  Did the referee in the sky just blow the whistle on me and boot me?  The whistle blows…I raise my hand to accept responsibility for the infraction.  Over and over and over it happens.  They don’t add up.  So why am I sitting on the bench?  Why do I watch, and not play?  Or…as scripture says…am I ok.  Do I not have to worry about it because the count keeps resetting each time I foul.  Sin is like that.  I feel like my sin is so great that not only am I ejected from the game, but I have to leave the gym.  My head tells me that’s not true.  I logically know the answer.  Its just that…well…..

Back from the dead…

   I just found an interesting excerpt from Anne Rice’s new book.  You can read the excerpt on www.abcnews.go.com/gma 

Anne Rice is the former atheist author of such books made movies as Interview with a Vampire.  She is now a born again Christian, and has immersed herself in writing about Christ.  This book, “Christ the Lord: The Road to Cana,” is her second Christian themed book. 

 I found the excerpt intriguing.  I’m interested enough to want to go and buy the book, and perhaps the first one she wrote as well.  I may be late on the scene for this one, but thought it worth mentioning. 

Birthday’s in June, so if anyone needs an idea for me…this would be it! 

When will it end, when will it ever end!

Oh the pain!  It gets better, then it gets worse.  I think it’s gone, and it comes back.  One day it’s fine, the next there is something new to worry about.  It’s a never ending saga, a on-going experience that can’t be explained by simple (or complex) words; it has to be felt. 

As it is with the flu, it is with adoption.