Shark Attack

I went to BJ’s today to get a few things.  I bought some soap, shampoo, toothpaste-you know the normal stuff.  I also bought one of these:

It’s a steam mop.  I hate cleaning floors, but I also detest dirty ones.  There’s my problem.  Now, when we chose the flooring for our house, it was after experiencing the WORST ever year regarding floors.  We were living in a house with light colored Berber carpet in the ONLY room with access to the back yard.  Of course the dogs made short work of tearing up what little grass there was, and consequently, I was left with muddy nasty floors all the time.  My kitchen floor was a white linoleum with blue accent…but 12 paws made sure it was brown too.

I tried everything.  Floor mate, Swiffer, mop and buket.  Nothing, and I mean nothing worked to keep those floors clean.  So when it came time to purchase flooring for our new house, I chose a tile that has a stone look to it, masking some of the dirt so that I could stop being so anal about cleaning the floor.  The only problem is that now I don’t see the dirt.  So I don’t clean as often as I should as evidenced by our socks!

I’m just going to say that for me, this tool does the trick.  It requires NO chemicals.  It works on steam.  The steam really loosens the dirt, and the pads are thick enough to pick it all up and hold it.  I’ve only used it once so far but I’m happy with the results.  I know my floors are dirty.  I’m going to have to do this a couple times before they are really where I’d like them to be, but I’m well on my way.  Oh, and did I mention that the floor is pretty much dry right away?  There is no drying time for this thing.  Unlike the floor mate, which is supposed to wet vac up the dirty cleaning solution…but doesn’t work so well on tile due to the topography and lack of suction power.

Any way with all the talk of going green, I think this is one fantastic product.  I know there are other brands out there, and honestly I didn’t do a lot of research before buying.  I spent under $100 for it, and so far, it earns an A from me.

To Give a Little Thanks

Tomorrow is our first Thanksgiving as a family.  Our first holiday really, since the adoption was finalized.  I am filled with simply every single emotion there is, including a deep sadness.

The joy of the holiday season is, for me, often tempered with the knowledge that for some reason my family decided we were better off without each other than with each other.  I know I’m not alone.  I know there are simply millions of families just like mine, and worse, out there in the world.  But it still saddens me that my little family is so broken up.

Then I think, how does God feel about it?  If I’m sad about my one family, and I know there are a gadzillion more like it, how then does God feel? Profound to imagine.

What, then, should be the response?  How do I fit into this equation?  Am I just a victim?  Do I have a choice in how I feel about it?  Yep.  I do.  Here is how I know:  A little conversation between Jesus and Nicodemus.

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.  Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God…”

There it is, “Whoever believes”.  That’s my choice.  I choose to believe.  And since I choose to believe, then I am part of the larger family of God, and I have a responsibility to that family, not just the family I was born into.

So often this verse is used to illustrate salvation. But it also touches on the fact that God loves us ALL. The whole world. Notice that there are no conditions around that. I am part of God’s family like it or not! He decided, not me. And yeah, my little birth family is torn up, but I’m not only a part of that little family but of the greater family of the human race. And to that end, I need to stop looking only as far as my nose, and realize that God is working in other parts of my family when I hear wonderful stories of gatherings, reunions and time spent together.

I can be part of the problem, or I can be part of the solution.  I can sit and cry over the fact that I come from a dysfunctional family, or I can rejoice that God has given me a family of my own so that I might share with the world His glory and the wonder of His unconditional love.  I can be thankful for what He has done with the mess I created, or I can wallow in self pity over the mess that others made around me.

I’m going to give a little thanks.  Today.  Before Thanksgiving.  Because I am choosing to be part of the solution.

Life since High School

Recently through facebook I have  been re-connecting with some old classmates, so I’ve been thinking a lot about the twists and turns that got me where I am.

Summer between sophomore and junior year of high school, my parents divorced and we moved to the east coast from the mid west. Life wasn’t easy. Here’s the rundown in fast forward:

Struggled with the new social rules and language, joined the swim team, made varsity, went out for softball and blew out my knee triggering all the surgeries, worked at Wendy’s, finished high school, worked at an electronics manufacturing plant, got pregnant, had an abortion, married the guy, had a ruptured ectopic pregnancy, divorced, worked, worked, worked, moved to California to be a ‘nanny’/Auntie to my beautiful nephew and niece, started a long distance relationship with Mr. Right, moved to Michigan, moved to New Hampshire, married Mr. Right, built a house, got a puppy, started taking classes to change careers, got another puppy, moved to Connecticut (hated it), adopted another young dog (bringing the total to 3 dogs at 1yr, 1 1/2 yrs, and 2 yrs old.)  Moved to Rhode Island, met my father-in-faith via the internet and was led to Jesus, found my church family, started a new career as a tech writer, fostered a child, adopted that child, waiting to hear about fostering another; this time a newborn.

There…that about covers it.  Looking back, there were defining moments: parents divorce, moving away, abortion, ectopic pregnancy, divorce, that really changed me, and one defining moment that really confirmed Me.  I’m not proud of what I did.  But I’ve been granted the forgiveness and mercy that helps me to learn and move forward and beyond those moments.

As difficult as it has been at times, God knew all along the path I would have to walk.  He wanted different things for me however I made choices that changed the path.  But never the goal.  God made sure of that.

Ok-I love her and I wouldn’t trade her for the world, BUT…

I took an opportunity this evening while preparing dinner (tomato soup, Ritz crackers and grilled cheese sandwiches, served with a 2008 white milk)  to share with Mary a little of the message we heard this morning at church.  I took the message in a different direction, in order to help her understand world hunger.  (Next week we will work on solving it…)

What I shared with her is that in many places in the world the only thing available to eat is rice.  She was a little surprised.  “What about chicken?”  she asked.  “Nope.  They don’t have that.”  “Welp, what about turkey? Do they have that?”  I answered no, but that they might have a few cows.

For milk, I explained, with a smile (oh how smart is THIS mommy!)

I asked her if she knew where hamburgers came from.  “Meat?”  “Well, close, hamburgers come from cows.”  “Oh.  So, when we eat hamburgers we are eating cow?”  I cringed.  Am I turning her vegan?  “Yes, that’s right.”  “Oh!  So hamburgers have milk in them.”

What can I say?

Journey To Family Part 8

So a few moments later I snatched an opportunity and asked her, “You know what that means?”  She looked up at me again and asked “what?” and then went back to playing Cats in the Cradle.  I said, “It means forever” with a big smile on my face.  She abruptly looked up at me and with a very surprised look on her face she said “No, Mom.  Remember you said my mom and dad can’t take care of me for now.”

October 10, 2008
We had asked our priest and his wife to be with us when we finalized the adoption.  They were anxious and happy to come with us.  We arranged for Mary’s maternal grandmother to come from Florida and stay with us for a night or two so that she too could be with us when the judge hit the gavel block making it final.  And so it was, the three of us, Mary’s new grand parents, her maternal grandmother, our priest and his wife trekked to the court house for the big day.

Mary was so undecided for several days over what she would wear.  I wanted it to be her choice, and so I decided not to voice my opinion.  She had two choices:  a polka dot dress with a matching dress for her doll, or a more seasonally appropriate skirt and sweater set.  In the end, she made the right choice, she chose the skirt and sweater set.  It was beautiful on her.  Powder blue accented with sequins on the sweater, and silver decorative stitching on the skirt.  I got her opaque tights and silver shoes to wear.  Yes, it was what I really wanted her to wear, and the shoes…well they helped make the choice!!

We rented a mini van to cart us all and arrived at the court house a few minutes ahead of time.  Mary was her usual spunky self, bopping along with her doll clutched tightly to her chest.  She was a little more shy than normal when we arrived at the courthouse.  She was, I think, a little overwhelmed with what she saw there.  There was a wide variety of people, with a wider variety of reasons for being there.  On some faces, the stress of whatever their situation was clear.  On others, the arrogance of their personality was easy to detect.  Mary, I’m sure, could sense the tension that swirled around some of the people there, and reacted by pulling herself together and clinging to me for support and courage.

After a seemingly long wait, we were invited into the court room.  Our friends and family were seated in the audience behind us, while we were asked to sit at a table facing the judge’s bench.  Soon after, the court officer came in and leisurly sat at the other side of the table we were at.  He leaned back in his chair, and in a very causal way, asked Mary if she knew why she was there.  She softly answered “yes.”  He ran through a series of questions: How old are you?  Where do you live?  What school do you go to?  What grade are you in?  What is your teacher’s name?  He told her that the judge was going to ask her some questions.  “Do you know what she is going to ask?” he said. “No.”  said Mary, shyly.  He ran through the same questions again. Mary smirked, as did the officer as they asked/answered the same questions again.

Shortly after, the judge came in and we went through the process of standing while she entered, and the officer recited his preface.  The judge came over and sat across from us and asked Mary some of the very same questions that the officer had asked.  The judge then had Mary sign a certificate offically adopting us as her parents, and legally changing our names to “Mom and Dad”.  Then, the clerk read the adoption decree.  The 6 most wonderful, powerful, memorable words ever were, “This adoption is final and irrevokable.”  Then, the judge slid her gavel and gavel block to the center of the table.  She asked Mary if she knew what those things were.  Then she explained to Mary that when she hits the gavle block with her gavel, it signifies the end.  She then told Mary that she was going to hit the gavel block, and then give Mary the gavel to hit the block and when Mary did it, it would mean that the adoption was final.  “Are you ready?” the judge asked with a smile.  “Yee-hes” said Mary with a nervous laugh.  The judge hit the gavel block and handed the gavel to Mary.  “SMACK” went wood against wood.  It was done.

Talk the talk…

…but can you walk the walk?

There are a lot of people who like to give advice.  Some of it’s good, some of it’s not good.  But the thing that really gets me is when someone gives me advice they don’t follow themselves…STOP!!….Wait, WHAT?????

Yeah, guilty.  I’ve done it.  I spout of some ‘righteous’ thing, offer some sort of scripture, or story to go with it and then I’m on my way feeling all good about my self and helpful even.  Then it hits me…I’m such a hypocrite.  How dare I go off thinking I’m good when I’ve left someone with a task bigger than I can handle myself?

Thoughts?

Prayer

Some of my friends or family are either sick, recovering or struggling right now.  Please join me in prayer for the following:

Joel
Debbie
Kaitlyn
Paul
Debbie H.
Jayne
Ruth
Suzanne
Jennie
Sue
Any and all of the commenters on Tam’s blog yesterday who are dealing with broken relationships

God knows what each of them needs.  Thanks for praying with me

All I can say is THANK YOU!

Joel, formerly cecworship, ran a contest, and I won!   So all I can say is THANKS!!

…Oh, by the way, if you haven’t checked out his site, please do.  Yes, you can get there from HERE.

I just can’t get enough of this…

One of the coolest things ever produced…in my opinion!  I know it’s not new, but to hear it again every once in a while makes it new again!

Adoption Ceremony Update

Well, what a beautifu day this was all the way around!

We arrived at church a litte later than I would have liked, but we only missed a few verses of the first song.  We found seats and settled in for worship.

All of a sudden, we were called up front as a family.  There were two kneeling benches in front of the alter, and I had assumed they were for our ceremony, but I didn’t have any clue what exactly we would be doing.  Fr. Dave explained to the congregation that a month ago we had legally finalized our adoption of Mary, and and today we were aknowledging that legal commitment before God.

It started off with the presentation of the medallion.  Rich knelt down to look her in the eye.  He said this:

“Mary, when Mommy and I got married, we gave each other rings to symbolize our love for one another and our promise to always love and care for each other.  Today, we are giving you this pendant, to symbolize our love for you and our promise before God to always love and care for you.”

As he read, I put the necklace on Mary.  When we were done, we were invited to the kneeling benches, where Rich and Mary kneeled and I stood (not ready to kneel yet).  Fr. Dave blessed us as a family, asked for blessings and direction for the birth parents, for strength to be the kind of parents Mary needs and continued protection for us as a family.  Then, we turned and faced the congregation and were introduced as a family.

Mary was beaming.  Daddy was beaming.  Mommy was beaming.