Last Letter

My Dear Children,

The day has arrived for me to let you go.  I have not wanted this day to come for obvious reasons, but I have been waiting for it for so many years.  The sun is shining brightly this morning, and the sky is crystal clear; just the kind of day that makes the earth look happy.

This is going to be my last letter to you.  Not because I don’t want to write to you, but because in saying good bye, I need to close the door behind that keeps me in this prison and cross the bridge to a new life, one without regrets and without sorrow over you.  One that rejoices in knowing that you were, even for a few brief moments, lives that had meaning, purpose.  Lives that will not be forgotten but will be remembered with joy rather than shame, guilt and sorrow.  I want that so badly, and I’m sure that you would want it to be that way as well.

I wish that I could share with you the joys of earthly childhood; the meaning of a mommy wiping a tear, or the feeling of climbing into a welcoming lap when the world has beaten you down.  I wish that I could see your faces, and hear your voices.  But it was not meant to be in this lifetime.  I can look forward to seeing you, hearing you, holding you, knowing you in the kingdom of Heaven!  The anticipation is great, but please know that the love is greater.  The love that keeps me right where I am, giving to the little girl God has given me all the things I would give to you, but knowing that she is not you, and you are waiting for me!  In her, I will continue to see you, and through loving her, I will be loving you.  She is my purpose, and a gift from the God that loves and cares for you.

I know that letting go of you is not going to be easy.  I know that there will be tears.  But I also know that when I have really let you go to the One who created you and loves you more than I can fathom, I will be free to cross over the bridge to a better place in my own life.

Please know that this is a bitter sweet day for me, one that will not be forgotten, just as you are not forgotten.

Love, Mommy

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3 thoughts on “Last Letter

  1. Debbie says:

    Dear Friend,
    What a beautilful letter to your children! It touched my heart to read this…more than I can express. You are no longer in that prison that you spoke about…you are crossing that bridge. YOU, my friend, should be so proud of yourself! I sit here amazed and in awe as I read this letter again and the words you so beautifully have written touch my heart each time I read them. Thank you for sharing this. I would like to say more but it will have to wait…. love, Debbie

  2. Janna says:

    Although I am not so sure what happened. I thank you for sharing this with us. This is such a nice letter and I am sure they truly appreciate it.
    I too believe that you show your love through your daughter. *tears* what a wonderful blog entry.

  3. alece says:

    wow, this is powerful… i pray your heart found healing and strength.

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