There is a bottle of wine in my fridge. It doesn’t quite fit, and frankly, I don’t want it there. It annoys me. Honestly, I hate it. I despise it. I resent it.
Yeah, I know, I’m talking about a bottle of wine. But it’s what it represents to me. There are alcoholics in my family. I’m not one of them. As a matter of fact, I don’t drink. (And it has NOTHING to do with my feelings about alcohol, it’s simply because I don’t like it.) But seriously, to me it represents dysfunction. It represents sadness. It represents the demolition of a family. It represents horror. These are the things it represents to ME.
Disclaimer: I do not believe that alcohol should be banned or that it is the cause of every bad thing that happens. This is just MY view. End Disclaimer.
Every time I open the fridge, this awkward bottle stored in the door wobbles to one side or the other and makes it’s presence known. I sneer at it, threaten to toss it out and then slam the fridge door closed behind me. It’s not mine. I can’t just toss it out. I have to continue to store it.
So, like the bottle of wine, there are things in my life that I just don’t want to store anymore. Things I despise and resent. Things that represent dysfunction, sadness and horror. Difference is, they are mine, and I can just toss them out. But I don’t. They wobble around in my life because they just don’t fit anymore. I sneer at them and then slam the door closed behind me, leaving them right where they are. In some ways, it seems like if I get rid of them, there will be something missing from my life. There is a bizarre sense of comfort that comes from having them there.
For a long time, I didn’t know that I could get rid of them. I thought that since they were a part of my past, that I had to carry them around with me forever. But I don’t. I know that I can, at any point, simply put them down and walk away. I don’t have to look back. I don’t have to worry that I have “illegally dumped” them because in the Kingdom of heaven, there is no wrong place to dump things. You just do it. And mysteriously, God makes the trash disappear. But then He does something even more profound. He replaces them with things that I need; love, compassion, mercy, acceptance. Things that fit perfectly into my life. Beautiful things that I want to look at over and over; things that I would NEVER slam a door on!
Every day is trash day. One by one I’m going to take things out and dump them. I’ve done a lot of that already, but I have more to do. Anyone care to join me in de-cluttering?