The Superior Submissive Wife

superior wife book I’m listening to a conversation on the new book “The Superior Wife Syndrome”.  Read an excerpt here .  This is an interesting concept.

I’ve been learning how to be a wife for the past, oh, 12 years now, and it wasn’t until more recently that I think I actually got the whole concept.  Now, that doesn’t mean I have it down, cuz I don’t, but what it does mean is that I see the picture more clearly now.

What struck me while listening to the author, Carin Rubenstein, and a clinical psychologist describe this syndrome, was that I immediately recognized myself.  I think I suffered from Superior Wife Syndrome for a long time.  Even before I was married.  And up until about 4 years ago, I wouldn’t have known how to fix it.  My marriage, like the ones described in the book, would have suffered severely for it and may have in fact succumbed to it.  I felt the burden of doing everything, handling everything, making every decision, managing everything.  It was frustrating to say the least.  The author of this book is on to something that modern marriages have suffered from for years.  And for good reason.  That little word in traditional marriage vows that so many women cringe at: obey.

God created men and women differently.  Men have different chemistry, different thought patterns, different physical abilities then women.  On purpose.  God didn’t make a mistake with them ladies, he really didn’t!  But most of us recoil at the thought that we, as wives, are to submit to our husbands.  ICK!!  Don’t make me!!  I am WOMAN, hear me roar!!  We can’t imagine living our lives submissive to our husbands; those slimy creatures who smell when they sweat and can’t figure out how to put a pony tail in a little girls hair, or tie the shoe of an active little boy.  We have become a ‘nation’ of independent women, hell bent on proving to ourselves and the world that we are not the lesser or weaker gender.  I venture to say, without scientific proof or concrete basis, that this is more an American syndrome than a true gender issue.

The bottom line is this:

22Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. (Ephesians 5:22-24)

Consider the modern household with a wife who upholds this.  How encouraging is it to the husband to hear his wife respect him?  Respect.  Respect the position that was God-given to him, as a man.  We depend on them ladies.  Let’s not ignore that fact.  We expect them to rise to the occasion, but how often do we demasculate them? (Ok, technically the word is emasculate, but since I know the common term is demasculate, I’m going with that.) How often do we push them to a point of submission because we fear their domineering presence?  Now, I know that this issue has gone back and forth many times in our society.  Men also need to learn how to be husbands, biblically.  God didn’t give us this stuff for our entertainment, he gave it to us to use, to apply. But this post is focused on the women.

Right now, there are many families faced with this issue.  So often the wife feels over-burdened with all that she has to do around the house.  Rather than treat her husband as an equal, she fears that his incompetence is going to be the ruin of them.  To these families I offer this suggestion:  Seek God.  Allow God to be a presence in your marriage and allow Him to teach you how to be a superior wife by being a submissive wife.  It doesn’t mean that you are going to be walked on, but it does mean that you will enjoy your marriage a whole lot more if you work with nature rather than against it!


3 thoughts on “The Superior Submissive Wife

  1. propertyofhim says:

    I can relate to all you have said in this blog & now better understand my submissive position as his wife. Thank you for your insight!

    • lori says:

      Thank you for taking the time to read what I wrote!

      I feel strongly that American women need to step back and take a look at themselves. That doesn’t mean that we need to stop being successful women; we are strong and independent and should remain that way. But we need to learn how to respect our husbands and treat them in a way that would make God happy…not our bosses!

  2. Brenda Windsor says:

    All I can say is, “I love making my husband feel like the man.” We have a wonderful marriage without me being overbearing or attempting to be perfect. I enjoyed reading what you wrote.

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