Ok, so I’m going to open up about something that is really bugging me.
I have 2 kids. One is adopted, one will soon be adopted. They both came to me at 6 1/2 years old, so they have memories, and they have some issues. One has significantly more issues than the other, but they both have more then their fair share of “stuff”.
There are a lot of people in the world who are understanding and encouraging even of us and our family. We are by no means conventional, and yet we are by no means unique. And I am grateful to God for the opportunity He has given me to raise these children. We are surrounded by people who are ready and willing to help at the drop of a hat. And they have. But there are others who exclude us and our children from activities…neighborhood “play time” if you will. Oh sure they talk as if they have tolerance and understanding, but the proof is in their behavior and the behavior of their children towards mine.
I can extend a measure of exception to people who don’t know my kids, or their histories. We all tend to judge by what we see and without knowing. But there are those around us who DO know the relevant parts of my children’s past that helps to explain some of their behavior. For them to behave the way they do around my kids, or to allow, and even encourage their children to behave in an exclusive way is serving only to hurt these kids even more. I can understand the lack of tolerance…but there are right and wrong ways of going about exercising it.
My kids didn’t ask for what has happened to them. I believe with all my heart that they will grow into caring, compassionate adults with a love of life and others that will be unmatched by their peers simply for the fact that they have had to expose themselves to loss and reconciliation at such young ages. And they have support through this stuff that some kids in their position don’t get. But to mis treat them, and encourage other children to do the same out of a lack of compassion is just so not what I thought we would experience in our community.
These are children. They are imperfect. They deserve to be treated better than other kids because of what they have already suffered. Call me. Talk to me. Ask me questions and help me to help them. Don’t continue the hurt. Please.