And so it goes….

It’s Mother’s Day.  A day when children, no matter how old, pay tribute to their mothers with trays adorned with sticky pancakes, spilled milk and hand made cards.  It’s a day when flowers fragrant homes and splash color into the every day routine for days to come.

Today is a day when mother’s all over the world are pampered, kissed and remembered by the children they carried and then birthed.  A reward of sorts for the pain of labor and the torment of the first few years of chaos and frustration that no doubt are every young mother’s experience.

Today is a day that, to me, is still a little foreign.  Yes, I am a mother.  But I don’t know what it feels like to be kicked from the inside. I don’t know what labor feels like.  I don’t know the joy of holding that newborn for the very first time and welcoming him into the world.

But I am a mom.  I am a mom to a beautiful daughter, and a strong son.

I have something that birth mothers don’t have.  I have children who have opened their hearts to me just as I have opened my heart to them.  I have children who have chosen to be be my children, just as I have chosen to be their mom.  They are not mine by default.  We are not a family by default.  We all share the same last name, but we don’t share the same genes, or the same biology.  That isn’t what makes us a family.  What makes us a family is the mutual love, trust and faith that we put in each other to be parents and children.  What makes us a family is our common need; to be cared for and loved, for and by each other.  Yes, as mothers we need to be cared for by our children and we need to be loved by them.  It’s how God made us.  It’s why so many women desire so strongly to be mothers.

And so I have my children, but not the same way that other mothers do.  It cannot be said of a natural family that there is a mutual choice to be parent and child.  I have that.  And no one can ever take that from me.

So I would choose to be with you
That’s if the choice were mine to make
But you can make decisions too
And you can have this heart to break

Billy Joel, And So It Goes

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